What is depression..??

What is depression really?

Is there one concrete definition,

or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life.

I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter.

I don't hate the world.

I don't dress completely in black.

I'm just sad.

I've been sad for what feels like my entire life,

but that's not true.

I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like,

but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back,

I don't know how. That's what depression is to me,

knowing what happiness is,

but never being able to touch it,

to feel it.

Everything that ever caused a tear to trickle down my cheek,

I run away and hide from it.

But now,

everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me.

And I don't know what to do.

I just know that pain I felt so long ago,

it's hurting ten time more.

Everyone sees who I appear to be

but only a few know the real me,

They only see what I choose to show there's

so much behind my smile they just don't know.

I always be by your side..

I don't have the words to make you feel better,

but I do have the arms to hug you,

I have the ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about,

and I have a heart thats aching to see you smile again.

Why I love you..??

Why I love you is a hard question to answer.

I love you because you care for me like no one else I know.

I love the way I feel in your arms, so safe from dangers in the world.

I love your eyes,

so hypnotic and mesmerizing,

beautiful to gaze into, and yet never revealing everything to me.

I can explain every way that I love you

because thats in possible.

But I can say I love you because you are you.

Pain

I wish I really can tell you how I really feel about you

My feelings toward you..
I really want to tell you that I love you..

But

I'm afraid.. I'm afraid being rejected..

I'm afraid you won't accept me,,

and then everything change

We won't be close to each other like before..

I'm afraid you won't talk to me anymore..

I'm afraid you gonna ignore me..

Every time I see you..

I wish that I can tell you that I love you..

This feeling killing me softly..

Sometimes I feel like there's no hope for me to be with you..

Sometimes I feel like want to give up..

It's hurt so much..

Someone Special..

I want someone to share my secrets with,

someone to talk to late at night when I can't sleep,

someone who feels comfortable around my family,

someone to comfort me when I'm scared,

to hold me when I'm sad,

someone who doesn't need to say that she loves me for me to know its true.

Sometimes..

Sometimes I feel like no one cares.

Sometimes I feel like no one is there.

Sometimes I want to kill myself.

Sometimes I think I need some help.

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone.

Sometimes I'm in an empty zone.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not alive.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm deprived.

Sometimes I think the world should end.

Sometimes I think I have no friends.

Sometimes I want to make them see that,

sometimes I wish I wasn't me...